How to Encourage Your Child to Keep Trying (Even When it's Difficult to do so)
Has someone ever asked you to do something that you don’t really feel like doing? Have you ever asked your child to do something, and it just never happens? We’ve all been there and understand how frustrating it is on both ends. Completing the task not only requires effort and focus, but also requires motivation. Motivation has a huge impact on our performance completing the task. The problem is that we can’t make someone want to do something. No matter how many times we ask them to do something, or tell them they need to do something, it will not make them WANT to do something.
Speech-language or feeding therapy can be frustrating. Fostering intrinsic motivation in children is key to long term success in therapy.
This is where the power of intrinsic motivation comes in. There are two main types of motivation- intrinsic and extrinsic. So what is motivation anyway and how does it impact speech-language or feeding therapy progress?
Extrinsic motivation usually comes in the form of external incentives and reinforcement provided by other people. Extrinsic reinforcement can be in the form of rewards or punishments. An example of extrinsic motivation is exercising to fit into your clothes or doing your job to get a paycheck. In the therapy room, this might look like participating and working hard in therapy to get stickers, prizes, and candy.
It may be tempting to rely on stickers, prizes, and candy to motivate children, but extrinsic motivators are not effective in producing long-term progress and growth.
The dilemma:
What happens if there are no more stickers left?
Maybe your child doesn’t like the candy choices (or they have an allergy)?
Does this mean you now have to buy a bag of treats every time you practice at home?
What about those days where your child was tired, had a bad day at school , and they physically didn’t have the energy to be “good enough” for that prize box? How will this make them feel about practicing at home, or returning to therapy later? Or do you just continue to reward a tiny bit of effort one day, but change your parameters for success next time (confusing for a young learner)?
What even IS “being good” and who gets to decide…?
On the other hand, intrinsic motivation is what drives each person from within with individual values and preferences, it is the behavior that drives internal rewards. An example of intrinsic motivation is exercising because it makes you feel good. In the therapy room, this might look like participating and working hard in therapy because they have an inward desire and enjoy the interaction. This is a child that communicates because they want to communicate. A key factor in developing intrinsic motivation in speech or feeding therapy is connecting with the child. Intrinsic motivation is key to long term success in therapy. Research has shown that intrinsic motivation is strongly linked to increased overall happiness, engagement, and performance, even in adults.
Connection is a key factor in developing intrinsic motivation in pediatric speech or feeding therapy.
Here are some to strategies speech-language pathologists use to encourage intrinsic motivation in children (and ways in which you may observe your therapist at Bellflower Speech, Language & Literacy using):
Provide choices: Children are more intrinsically motivated when they have a choice in the activity they are doing
Power of Positive Thinking: Building a child’s self-confidence can tremendously build intrinsic motivation
Educate: Explain to the child why you are doing an activity and how it is going to help them in everyday life
Plan together: Getting a child involved in planning activities will make them excited to complete the activity and work on their goals
Keep it fun: Let’s face it, children love having fun. Intertwining games with therapeutic activities will encourage social language skills and give children a motivating way of working on their goals
Using knowledge of the child’s individual learning style to build a therapeutic relationship, trust, and help the child achieve success – Many kids learn better while engaging in movement, coloring, manipulating a hand fidget, or taking breaks to reset during more challenging tasks
Treats are lovely sometimes (everything in moderation, yea?), but let’s not lose sight of the ultimate goal: helping your child’s communication/feeding skills thrive for life.